


And she will miss you

by anondingle



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: M/M, Sad Ending, Self-Harm, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-12
Updated: 2017-03-12
Packaged: 2018-10-03 08:23:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10240196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anondingle/pseuds/anondingle
Summary: This is based about a month after the abuse trial ended, but in this world Gordon got away with it.There is no happy ending I'm afraid.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is a story based on this amazing song:
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NICa1g31uP4
> 
> I get weepy everytime I listen (which is a lot) so I had to write something along to it.

_I saw your shoes behind the line_

_I’ve seen your face a hundred times_

_But now only in my mind_

_The rest of you is left behind_

 

Robert sat in the chair, looking down at his feet. He was in the family and friends room at Hotten General. He’d rushed Aaron in a couple of hours earlier. He’d found him on the floor of the bathroom. Robert shuddered at the memory. His blood soaked arm covered in cuts, the razor blade on the floor next to him. Aaron had cut himself again. Only this time, he’d gone too far, he’d caught his artery.

 

_You lay there passed out on the couch_

_Words falling from your mouth_

_Maybe you like to drink too much_

_I could see you losing touch_

 

He remembered the first time he’d found Aaron after he’d been cutting himself. How he’d rushed him in here. Only last time, Aaron was somewhat conscious. This time was a lot different.

 

“Mr. Dingles partner?” A nurse walked into the room and Robert looked up at her nodding.

 

“How is he?”

 

“He’s lost a lot of blood, if you’d been 10 minutes later…”

 

“So he’s going to be ok?”

 

“I’m afraid it’s too early to say anything. We’ve managed to stitch up the main artery that was damaged which has stopped the blood loss and we’re currently giving him a blood transfusion to replace what he has lost.”

 

“When can I see him?”

 

“He’s not regained consciousness yet, we will let you know when he does.”

 

The nurse left him alone in the room.

 

He should have noticed, he should have seen the signs. Aaron wasn’t himself again. Only last week he’d found him passed out on the couch, an empty bottle of whiskey on the floor below him. Robert shouldn’t have left it.

 

 

_Please don’t float too high_

_The sun will burn your wings_

_You are everything_

 

He’d walked to the window of the room Aaron was in, staring at all the tubes while the doctors and nurses checked the machines around him.

 

“Please Aaron,” he mumbled to himself as a tear fell down his cheek. “Wake up.”

 

Things weren’t going well at home, they’d been arguing a lot more than normal. Gordon had gotten away with what he did and Aaron wasn’t coping. Robert should have been there for him instead of working. But he didn’t know what to say. He’d been sure that Gordon would have gone down for what he did. Instead they had to live with the knowledge that Aaron’s abuser was living an hour away and come back whenever he felt like it.

 

_Please just run away_

_The headlights they will catch you_

_Your mother she will miss you_

 

Robert had even offered to leave Emmerdale with Aaron, move somewhere else. Another country, anywhere that Aaron wanted. But he’d shot the idea down; he’d said that Gordon couldn’t take his family from his as well. Robert should have taken him anyway, even if it was just for a holiday. A nurse saw him staring through the window and took him back to the family room; apparently it wouldn’t do him any good to see Aaron in that state. She didn’t realise that he’d seen him in worse states.

 

_So we all waited in a room_

_Flipped a switch and watched the news_

_Waiting for a sign of you_

_Breathing was impossible to do_

 

He’d given the nurses Chas and Paddy’s numbers, soon the waiting room was full of friends and family. Robert remained in his seat, staring at his feet. He didn’t know what to say to anyone. Victoria had tried to talk to him, she’d put an arm around him but he couldn’t respond. It was like he’d been drained of all emotion and feelings. The only thing he’d been able to do, was read the headlines of the 6 o’clock news when they flashed across the TV screen. It was in the corner of the room blinking at him, drawing his attention away from his own real life.

 

_So we all waited for the call_

_And wondered if you’re there at all_

_But no one’s lips knew what to say_

_Hoping that you won’t fly away_

 

A doctor had walked into the room, Robert looked up as he called Chas who pulled Paddy alongside her. They followed him out and Robert stood up, he wanted to go too. He was the one who had found him. He was the one who brought him in, he loved him. Adam put his hand on Roberts shoulder as if to stop him. It worked. He turned back to look at Adam and then crumbled into his shoulder, crying. All of the built up emotion finally coming out. Adam patted him on the back.

 

“Come on mate, let it all out.”

 

_Please don’t float too high_

_The sun will burn your wings_

_You are everything_

 

The room went quiet; they’d heard Chas’s scream from down the corridor. Things had gone in to slow motion for Robert. He saw Paddy walk back in the room, he saw his mouth move but didn’t hear those words. The words no one wanted to hear.

 

He felt Vic grabbing his arm as he fell to his knees in shock. She was hugging him and crying. He had no idea what she was saying. It was like he’d left his body and was floating above, watching everything going on around him.

 

_Please just run away_

_The headlights they will catch you_

_Your mother she will miss you_

 

Robert held Aarons hand, he couldn’t let go. He thought they were going to spend the rest of their lives together. He wanted them to give things a proper go. Chas was on the other side of the hospital bed sobbing into Paddy’s shoulder. How could he say goodbye to the love of his life? How could he go on knowing that he would never see Aarons face again? He kissed him on the forehead.

 

“I love you Aaron,” he wiped away the falling tears, “It was supposed to be me and you against the world. What am I going to do with out you? I told you before, that if I lost you…I wouldn’t be able to handle it. How am I supposed to handle it?” He let go of Aaron’s hand, stood up and walked out of the room. He ran, ran down the corridor and ran towards the exit. When he made it outside he was sick.

 

How was he supposed to handle losing the love of his life?


End file.
